Strong stress arises in response to a situation that our mind interprets as a threat to life, health, relationships, well-being, and so on. There are two main reactions to stress: facing the threat or avoiding it. This may be a habitual life strategy for some people, or it might activate only in specific stressful situations. For example, a person who generally avoids tense situations might start to fight if something truly meaningful is at stake.
Each strategy has an effective, rational side that helps address the problem and a side that can create new challenges. For instance, standing up for your rights, seeking support and attention, and advocating for your interests can be effective. But constant conflict, arguing for argument’s sake, or blaming others for things outside their control might bring short-term results (like extra help or getting your way) but is counterproductive in the long run as it damages relationships and harms health.
Here are a few suggestions from Yoga and Mindfulness practices to help you and the others around you manage stress:
- Anger and irritation always start in the body. Notice how this happens for you: clenched fists, tight jaws, a racing heart, or blood rushing to your head? Try to catch the wave of anger as early as possible—it’s easier to calm down at this stage.
- Often, shifting attention to physical sensations can help. Drink something cold or warm, splash your face with water, open a window for fresh air, breathe in a favorite scent, or eat something tasty. What appeals to you? Pleasant or unusual sensations can help calm you down.
- Anger can be “tamed”: if you were standing, sit down; if sitting, lie down. Relax your hands, give them a little shake. Let your jaw relax so it drops naturally. This helps reduce anger.
- You can “extinguish” anger with a challenging mental task. Try counting backward from your birth year or mentally multiplying double-digit numbers. Or try venting in a foreign language you barely know. It’s hard to stay angry and think simultaneously—anger will subside.
- Celebrate every time you successfully manage anger. Remind yourself that you did this for your loved ones. Share your progress with your spouse, friends, or on social media.
